Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Title Says it All

Ever walked through the video store or flipped through the channel guide to where the title says these two things simultaneously?
  1. This movie is going to suck. May contain scenes of bad acting, terrible scriptwriting, lousy camera work, and absolutely no plot.
  2. You are going to want to watch this movie.
Well here are several movies that do exactly that!
  • Bikini Girls on Ice, 2009. Slasher flick about a guy who thinks he's a wolf who kills people, chops up their bodies, and stores them in freezer full of ice to keep them fresh. More specific to the title, a group of bikini clad girls set up to do a bikini car wash fundraiser outside of the abandoned gas station where he lives.
  • Zombie Strippers, 2008. Stars Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund. Dude, when you have Freddy Krueger owning his own strip joint, you know things are either going to go very wrong, or very right.
  • Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, 1964.  The name says it all. Santa Clause is kidnapped by Martians to save the Martian children from depression. However, one Martian military commander has other plans for him. It is up to Santa, to save the martian children, and up to the children to save Santa. 
  • Killer Condoms, 1996. This German film is set in New York where gay-friendly hotels have been stocked with carnivorous creatures that look like condoms as part of a Catholic conspiracy to stop homosexuals.  It is up to an openly gay detective in the NYPD (as if that actually existed in 1996) to solve the case.
  • Terror at Blood Fart Lake, 2008. Face it, if you watch as much messed up movies as I do, and you'll know what titles catch the eye. A group of teens go to an abandoned camp ground near a lake called Blood Fart Lake. If that wasn't warning enough to stay away, these teens have obviously never seen a horror movie, because they get stalked by a dude dressed as a scarecrow. Isn't there always one at every abandoned campsite on a lake?
And remember to visit me at HubPages. Check out my latest entry entitled "Remember these Commercial Relics?"

No comments:

Post a Comment